Oh, crit

I'm working on the story for a major motion picture release. Really, it's gonna be HUGE.

Well, it'll be at least two minutes, anyway.

I wanted to take a shot at the whole zombie thing (hope that's not cramping anyone else's style), so I've penned a zombie love story. I hope to illustrate the characters and backgrounds myself, which might turn out to be a giant mistake. (Deep breath!)

Anyway, before I delve too deep into the iMovie assignment, can someone suggest some best practices. Does iMovie only support jpegs? If so, what's the best way to convert an Illustrator document? For this post, I simply opened the image in PhotoShop, then re-saved it.

Most importantly, what do you think of my Zombie?

I'd also like feedback on the story, so I'm gonna paste that below. (It's a lot, I know. I'm being very needy right now, but you've got the power to sign off the internet, don't you?) The story will most likely be different tomorrow, sine I'm gonna work on it some tonight, but I'd still appreciate some input. (FYI, I included comments to myself in parentheses.) Feel free to say mean things. This is, after all, only a draft.

Zombies: A Love Story
by Mark Gross

Zack didn't just play football for the local high school. He was the captain of the team. He wasn't just popular, either. He was terribly popular. That is, until Zack had an accident.

At the funeral, Zack's girlfriend didn't look less beautiful for all the sad, wet drops that streamed from her eyes, but it pained the entire town to see Diane cry. Even though the townspeople mourned the loss of their star quarterback, they knew Diane grieved the most. Until that block of frozen toilet water fell from a passing 757, everyone believed the high school sweethearts would be together forever.

The next couple of days were tough for Diane. The townspeople comforted her the best they could, but it provided little relief. She skipped school and cheerleading practice, and spent her time crying alone in her bedroom.

Zack was sad, too. He missed Diane. Zack also missed the town and the people that lived there. No light shined in Zack's satin-lined casket, which left him feeling bored. He wondered what everyone else was doing. Also, he wondered why it was so dark all the time. Eventually, Zack started to dig.

Darkness covered the cemetery ground like a thin layer of icing so it created little resistance when Zack finally busted through fresh topsoil. He stared down at the hole from which he had just crawled, and then up toward the headstone with his name on it. Zack left the cemetery, and then turned up Main Street.

(( Church first? ))

Though he hurried to reach Diane, Zack's right foot dragged as he walked, which slowed him considerably. His pace lessened even more as he approached the soda shop. Inside, Earl, the team's 250-pound center, drank a strawberry milkshake and blushed each time the cheerleaders sitting near him giggled.

It had been several days since Zack last spoke, which made it difficult for him to say his friend's name. "Eaaarl," he called over and over again, although something about it didn't sound right.

Earl looked from his shake to the glass door where a somewhat green and slightly decomposed starting quarterback pounded muddy hands against the glass door, moaning over and over again, "Braaaains. Braaaains."

Earl spilled his milkshake, the cheerleaders screamed and the elderly soda shop owner just about had a heart attack. All of them ran to the back of the shop and sat shaking in the dark late into the night. They wouldn't leave before the whole town had heard the terrible news.
Zack, discouraged his friend did not want to say hello to him, turned, and once again dragged his foot up Main Street, calling Diane's name along the way. Step, drag, "Braaaains." Step, drag, "Braaaains."

(( Flower shop? ))

At the corner, Zack turned down Elm Street. At the end of the street stood a tall, yellow house, and inside Diane had just cried herself to sleep.

When he got to Diane's yard, Zack noticed a familiar blue light emanating from the first floor. About this time, Diane's father typically drank cocoa while watching sitcoms. Zack threw back his head, opened wide and called to Diane, "Braaaains. Braaaaaaaaaaains!" Certainly, she would be delighted to see him.

When Diane finally peeked over the ledge of her window, she looked to down to where Zack stood. "Zack," she cried. "Oh my God, Zack!" She quickly disappeared from Zack's view. Clearly, she was inviting him in.

Diane's father heard Zack moan, too, and came out into the yard to discover the disturbance. Confused, he moved toward Zack to unmask this prankster. Zack, always polite when speaking with Diane's father, said hello and even asked him how his cocoa tasted this evening. "Brains. Braa-ains." Diane's father looked puzzled. That is, he looked puzzled until Zack ate his face off.

Inside the house, Zack approached the stairs, then slowly dragged his right foot to the second floor. He walked down the hall, and stopped at the door with the pink sign on it that read "Daddy's Girl."

Zack heard Diane sobbing wildly behind the locked door. He wanted terribly to console her, and so he cried out to her as he pounded the door. "Braaaaaaaaains."

When the door finally fell from its hinges, Zack saw Diane sliding over the windowsill. He got to the window in time to grab her hand as she tried to lower herself slowly to the ground far below.

"Zack. Zack, no," she screamed.

Zack told her he loved her, though he feared he still was not articulating his thoughts as well as he'd like. No matter, he thought, he'll just try again. "Braaaains."

Diane screamed.

"Brains," he said.

"Aaaaaaaah," she cried.

"Braaaaaaaaaaains!"

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Zack looked at his sweetheart. As she dangled from his grip, sobbing, he looked to the ground far below her. He told her one last time he loved her, and dropped her.

Diane's funeral was a sad one. The townspeople thought it strange at first, that there was no body. They realized, however, that Diane had joined Zack, and the two of them could be together again. Forever.

(( Should it be Halloween? Should Zack commingle with trick-or-treaters? ))